the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
