why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
