i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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