I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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