We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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