....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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