she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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