i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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