I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
