Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
