At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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