Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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