The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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