u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
