I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
