i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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