their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
