i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
vagina is talking i cant
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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