So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just found puke in my bra..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
