hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love having hate sex.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
