I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize