I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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