i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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