u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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