I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
