Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
