what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
