I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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