I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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