Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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