I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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