Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
