a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there is puke in my bra ... again
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