Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
