I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
