i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
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