the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
