He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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