dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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