We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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