office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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