Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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