I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
