Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
