then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
