Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
