he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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