we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
