This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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