i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
